Escape From Jinxland

For a long time, I harbored a fear of things getting jinxed. Over years, I discovered that I was not alone. Just like me, there were scores of individuals spread all over the planet who refrained from revealing the exciting, good things happening to them, lest their happiness got jinxed. Got a dream offer in a reputed organization; keep the good news to yourself, else this could get jinxed. Got pregnant? Do not reveal the news until you complete 3 months.

My first pregnancy concluded in a miscarriage. My doctor tried to console me by saying, “These kinds of things sometimes happen. As far as your case is concerned, I do not see a medical reason. We just don’t know why?” Over time, what began first as a hunch got extrapolated to an all-consuming belief that we had got it jinxed by revealing it a little too early, a little too soon.

A friend used to frequently remark that her 4-year old daughter is a fussy eater. I, along with two other friends, paid her a casual visit last summer. We were delighted to see the little one eating greens without the slightest fuss. And one of us, who enthusiastically dished out a second helping of the finely-shredded lettuce to the little girl, remarked loud enough for the mother in the kitchen to hear, “You should be happy. She has finally developed a good appetite. She even asked for a second helping.” And in a funny sort of way, I find it hard to forget the look returned by the mother who was re-emerging from the kitchen with another lettuce-laced salad plate. The import of her look was crystal-clear, “Do not jinx her new-found appetite.”

Now, is this “I-could-lose-what-I-have” or “something-bad-might-happen” feeling worth sacrificing moments of shared joy? Well, what are the odds of the negative happening? Or, is it that we are tilting the scales more in favour of the negative happening than the positive, and is that really worth it? What all this often leads to is a momentary shrinking of our hearts and minds in what could have been a more spontaneous, open communication. Without doubt, our fear of things-could-get-jinxed is similar to what was perceived to be the “butterfly effect” in popular parlance for a very long time—a butterfly flapping its wings over a flower in China could be the cause of a hurricane in the Caribbean.

That is to say, when the second time I got pregnant, I did not go and shout from the roof-tops. Yet, I did share the news with some folks before the completion of 3 months. Nothing got jinxed. I had a successful pregnancy. A host of positive events have followed suit since then. Not denying the fact that life being what life is; there are bound to be times of thwarted hopes and crushed dreams.  Life goes on, and it has nothing to do with anybody sending anyone intentionally or unintentionally, invisible rays of ill-will (God knows generated from where) or the other feeling envious enough to steal your joy. Just make your joy powerful enough to withstand any such turbulence, as Christian D. Larson reminds us in “Just be Glad”:

“Just be Glad, and you will always be glad. You will have better reason to be glad. You will have more and more things to make you glad. For great is the power of sunshine, especially human sunshine. It can change anything, transform anything, re-make anything, and cause anything to become as fair and beautiful as itself.”

On all counts, it appears to be more sensible to give power to the positive, and derive power from the same, rather than dance to the dull, slow tune of the negative lurking in hindsight, and dampen your spirits.